A pressing issue on the human mind

Throughout these days we have been discussing many pressing topics that involve all of Europe, important issues that we should collaborate on to solve. We discuss organisations, plans and countries trying to make people understand that our ideas will make the world better. We are doing important work and that’s even more impressive considering everyone´s young age, but so much so that we sometimes lose touch of our own human reality and only focus on abstract ideas and concepts, this is why when I was offered the journalist position in this little magazine I had to accept and introduce some delegates to a question that has been bothering many generations, to see if they (as the greatest European minds) could solve it and come to an agreement. I am not talking about cliché mindless questions like whether the chicken came before the egg;I am talking about the timeless question: Would you rather have 4 eyes or 6 arms?

The issue was introduced to a sample group of delegates, the conditions given read like this:

In case of choosing the eyes: the quality of your vision would not improve, so if you wear glasses now you would still need them in all 4 of your eyes, you could however position them however you wanted (that includes moving the 2 eyes you currently have) and your brain would form a coherent image of everything it sees.
In case of the arms: just like the eyes, they would be positioned according to the liking of the person in question, the arms would have to be human and with a strength and muscular mass proportional to the pre-existing arms.

Someone did bring to my attention that this wouldn’t be physiologically possible and to that I honestly say the possibility of things might be low, but never 0, as one of the greatest minds of our time said “ I am just as likely to shit a balloon as I am to become a dolphin ”(1). So for the sake of wonder and experimentation I will now analyse this issue, so you too can make an informed decision given the time of choosing.

Let’s start with the arms: during discussions I observed that women were more prone to picking this option;

they expressed they have suffered a lot because of their lack of pockets. As a woman and fashion enthusiast

with a special love for skirts I understand their point and feel their sorrow. On top of that they expressed that

they would be more productive, some of them testifying that often in their jobs and daily life they would love

to have more hands, so: would we be able to do more things at the same time and actually be productive?

The general consensus was that our brain would adapt, just as a lot of people are able to do one thing with one

hand and another with the other. I think its nice that they have such high hopes for the human brain, specially

bearing in mind that some people seem like they still don’t know how to use it (I have worked in customer service

so I have suffered firsthand the effects of this).

Overall, the respondents seemed positive, some bringing up the idea of becoming professional swimmers or climbers since the extra arms would definitely give them an advantage or suggesting that in a physical fight even when the strength doesn’t improve, multiple arms really give them the upperhand since people are not used to fighting against triple the number of arms they have.

But ultimately the issue arrives: what about clothes? Well, I like to think that you would have to buy a sewing machine to add sleeves to the clothes you currently have, either that or buying a new whole entire wardrobe which is much more expensive and inefficient. If suddenly everyone grew 6 arms the fashion industry would have to reinvent itself but if it’s just you, I doubt the major fashion brands would accommodate you. Either way we can all agree the change would be expensive and even more if you are used to getting your nails done and want to continue slaying like that.

Let’s talk about the eyes: when asked about it the first thing that came to peoples minds was becoming a spy, because no one expects you to have eyes in the back of your head. In addition to that some people brought up that this could mean an additional safety feature, since according to Dwight Schrute 7 out of 10 attacks are from the rear (2) and since you could position your eyes any way you want, this problem could be easily solved. On top of that it was also discussed that you could cheat on tests easily; I refuse to discuss this, and the readers can reach their own conclusions.

The factor of the quality of sight was brought up, being specially relevant for the people that currently wear glasses (duh), they remarked that you would need special glasses or double the amount of contacts you usually use and that would make it very expensive too. On top of that sunglasses would be difficult to find, but maybe just as the people who want 6 arms they could pick up a new hobby: glass making, and that would definitely make it cheaper.

The same issue as the one with the arms was brought up: Would the human brain be capable of managing so much information? To that this reporter had to explain the basic principles of sight and in this case in my medical opinion I don’t think that would be a problem brain-wise. Instead, what was really considered a problem was how annoying it is to get hair in your eye, and how often that would happen with double the amount of them.

All in all, for the sample group of opinions were always divided, in most cases being equal to the number of people who wanted 4 eyes and 6 arms, I hope this article helps you decide what you will choose and maybe make you consider some aspects of the decision that you hadn’t before.

To wrap this up I would just like to add that an impressive amount of people answered that they would like to have both bodily mutations, since they would better see what they were doing with their arms, but this is something that we are not contemplating right now but it would make for another great study.

(1)Rick and morty: Rick sanchez: season 6, episode 5

(2)The Office: episode 13, season 3